Explaining the Mad Hatter’s “unbirthday” to your child is a decision you will regret 364 days a year.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat

word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching

them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years

telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids

do you want?

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents,

despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like

shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.

“There is only one pretty child in the world… and every

mother has it.” -A  Chinese Proverb.

Children will soon forget your presents. They will always

remember your presence.

The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind

yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.

“Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?”

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of

the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.

A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after

you’ve purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby”

has never tried it.

The best inheritance parents can give their children is

a few minutes of their time each day.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Children in backseats cause accidents – Accidents in backseats cause children.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?